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766 riddles

Anything that doesn't fit in the others comes in here, enjoy.

What five letter word, no matter how you pronounce it, is always pronounced wrong?
When Miss Millie purchased her new parrot, the salesman assured her that it would repeat any word it heard. About a week later, Miss Millie returned the parrot complaining it hadn't uttered a single word. Given that the salesman had spoken the truth about the parrot's abilities, why wouldn't the bird talk?
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Every dawn begins with me. At dusk I'll be the first you see, and daybreak couldn't come without.

What midday centers all about. Daises grow from me, I'm told and when I come, I end all cold.

But in the sun I won't be found, yet still, each day I'll be around.
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What building has the most stories?
There are two dogs sitting on a porch. One dog is fat and one is thin. The little dog is the son of the fat dog, but the fat dog is not the father of the thin dog. Can you explain?
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A man went 20 days without a minute's sleep? Yet he didn't feel the slightest bit tired. How did he manage to do this?
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What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?
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Two cannibals were chatting as they had their dinner. One complained that he really quite disliked his new mother-in-law. What was the advice given to him by his companion?
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Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
There were five men going to church and it started to rain. The four that ran got wet and the one that stood still stayed dry.
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